Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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