normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
