i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize