found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Randomize
