I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I lost the right to judge tonight
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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