This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
