Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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