no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In America we eat man semen.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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