We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize