I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Drunk is a universal language darling
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
