i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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