I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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