oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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