i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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