Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
my liver is dry heaving
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
