I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
