doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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