pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize