I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
time to smoke my breakfast
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
