your room smells of hookers.
And success
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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