Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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