How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
