Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We need to get me chipped asap
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
