i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
