He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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