I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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