i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
