Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
