i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
