You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
