3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
