It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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