No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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