Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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