my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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