The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
