hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
