i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize