Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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