i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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