Your face is a jimmy john
Buhtt sex?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
