He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
