This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
