How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize