Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
