Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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