trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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