just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
