so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
