...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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