I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
