Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
