Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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