i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
honey bunches of taint.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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