She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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