Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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