You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
