508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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