What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
