you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
