he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
