so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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