why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
