Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
