It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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