ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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