Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
