trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
