Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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